My dog died yesterday. I had her put to sleep. I really feel bad. I made her suffer for so long. I should have had her put to sleep six months ago when she first went blind. She cried out in pain for days, while I waited for a vet to become available. She even got soaked with rain because our roof's drain overflowed. My mom kept discouraging me from having her euthanized and wait for her to die on her own because she didn't want to shell out money. I shouldn't have listened to her. I really regret it. If only I knew about distemper early on.
The truth is that I've neglected her for years. I rarely fed her, and my mom, grandma, and aunt did it for me, instead. That's the most of human interactions she's had in recent weeks. I stopped hanging out with her like I used to. Then, her attitude became snobby. Then, my aunt, grandma, and I went overseas for three months. I was only recently aware that animals get depressed when left for long periods of time. From being a relatively overfed dog, she became sickly thin. But before that, she even withstood parvovirus, which killed my other aunt's two dogs.
The regret and guilt that I have!
She was a really nice and sweet dog. Often waiting patiently for us to take her outside to do her business. She patiently endured when we have barely anything to eat, and endured bathing without getting snappy. She only moaned silently when she's hungry. If only we had a lot more space she would have enjoyed running around. I should've played with her more.
I really miss her. I still imagine her face by our kitchen's door. I couldn't stand seeing her die miserably and the way she looked when she was buried.
She lived nine and a half years.
Your righteousness is like the highest mountains,
your justice like the great deep.
You, Lord, preserve both people and animals.
Psalm 36:6 NIV
I hope Jesus is with her now.
The truth is that I've neglected her for years. I rarely fed her, and my mom, grandma, and aunt did it for me, instead. That's the most of human interactions she's had in recent weeks. I stopped hanging out with her like I used to. Then, her attitude became snobby. Then, my aunt, grandma, and I went overseas for three months. I was only recently aware that animals get depressed when left for long periods of time. From being a relatively overfed dog, she became sickly thin. But before that, she even withstood parvovirus, which killed my other aunt's two dogs.
The regret and guilt that I have!
She was a really nice and sweet dog. Often waiting patiently for us to take her outside to do her business. She patiently endured when we have barely anything to eat, and endured bathing without getting snappy. She only moaned silently when she's hungry. If only we had a lot more space she would have enjoyed running around. I should've played with her more.
I really miss her. I still imagine her face by our kitchen's door. I couldn't stand seeing her die miserably and the way she looked when she was buried.
She lived nine and a half years.
Your righteousness is like the highest mountains,
your justice like the great deep.
You, Lord, preserve both people and animals.
Psalm 36:6 NIV
I hope Jesus is with her now.
